Monday, November 20, 2017

Change is Scary

I will come out and rightfully say that I hate change. I always have. My mind doesn't enjoy going out of my comfort zone and my little bubble. Growing up with epilepsy, I never had to challenge myself because no one would allow it. I grew up in the same town I was born in and I had the same routine almost everyday.

Growing up in the church, I always heard leaders saying that one should leave their little bubble of comfortableness and let God take control. It is like that saying, "Let go, Let God." These words always made me wonder what it would be like to leave my comfort lifestyle and actually challenge myself. Never did I ever think it would be possible due to my condition.

Today, I am finally able to say that I am about to experience that feeling of uncomfortableness. I have been accepted into Westmont College in Santa Barbara and I move in January. This college is seven hours away from home, so it is a crazy huge step for me. In high school, I remember I really wanted to leave for college because I felt the need to escape this town. Practically my whole family and the doctors did not think it was a good idea because If I seized, how was I going to get help. I felt trapped and it drove me insane. I understood that there needed to be limitations, but also, I needed to learn how to actually live on my own with epilepsy. Therefore, this year, I decided to take a huge step and apply for Westmont. Once I saw that acceptance letter, I was so excited. My dad made a comment to my grandma saying that that was the happiest he had seen me in awhile. He and the rest of my family have decided to let me go to learn how to deal with change and to learn how to live my life with my condition.

Now that the time is coming up, I am becoming more and more nervous. The thoughts of me seizing and no one being prepared or the thought of my medication not transferring over to the new pharmacy are always running in my mind. As said previously, I have never really had to deal with change. I know I don't like it so my mind is trying to find ways on why I can't go. This time though, I am not going to let myself hold me back. This experience is going to be so very uncomfortable and I could not be more ready for it. I have the privilege to rely on God completely and I think that is incredible. We all need to come out of our comfort zones and stop that mental block in our heads telling us we can't. Do not let a condition, a person, yourself, or anything stop you from what you want to do. I came across a blog post that has really helped me out and will continue to inspire me after I move. It's called 3 Ways I Taught My Brain to be More Positive (And So Can You!) It is all about focusing on the good in life. I recommend everyone check it out if your struggling with finding optimism. I am overcoming my epilepsy and breaking down my little comfort bubble by moving away for college. How will you challenge yourself?

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4 comments

  1. Congratulations young lady!! I’m so happy for you!! Here’s to popping all those bubbles that hold you back!!! You’re going to do great things!!! ❤️❤️❤️

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  2. Reading these bring me so much joy. I'm so proud of you Rhe I am SO excited for you.

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    Replies
    1. Awe Morgan! Thank you so much for your constant love and support!

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