Monday, November 27, 2017

Facing Obstacles

They rhyme with popsicles, they are never fun, they usually require a great amount of stress and/or embarrassment, and most importantly, it is so hard to get around them. The scary word is OBSTACLES! (Does it seem scarier when I put it in all caps? Good.)

Let me start off by saying that my epilepsy is no where near as severe as most. It is mainly just a constant nuisance. When I was in high school, I tried to convince myself that I didn't have seizures with strobe lights and well, it did not turn out so well. With that being said, the biggest obstacle I face is flashing lights. They are everywhere (arcades, amusement parks, car blinkers, store signs, road signs, concerts, dances, etc.). At first, this used to really bring me down. I felt like most of my time was spent with my head down and my hands shielding my eyes. It made me feel different and isolated.

I remember I had never been to a high school dance because all the schools had strobe lights, but it was my last chance to go, so I did. I tried to suck it up and dance with my eyes closed, but the lights were so extreme that I had to leave. I sat on a chair outside the dance floor alone for about two hours until a friend picked me up. I tried to not let it get to me but it did. Since then, I have made it one of my goals to find ways around this obstacle that I struggle with. I am not going to hate my mind or bring myself down because what will that accomplish? Instead of isolating myself and letting my condition rule my life, I'm fighting back and let me just say, it feels good to win.

There was this church that I always heard such great things about but I was warned multiple times not to go because the lights were intense during their worship. So of course, I never went. Thankfully, that changed this year when my best friend encouraged me to attend. The first night I went, I sat in the church trying to be like everyone else, but then worship started. I tried to force myself to sit there but I couldn't. My friend followed me out and we listened to the sermon from the lobby for the rest of the time. Because I had God and my best friend by my side, I didn't give up, leave, and never come back. I didn't add this church to the list of actives I limited myself from doing. So now, every Sunday night, my best friend and I sit in that lobby and listen to the sermons, and we love it. I know it doesn't sound like that big of a deal, but I really do value the baby steps. I feel like I finally won a battle with my brain. I'm always learning new ways to overcome the obstacles I face and I am so grateful for it. My dad always told me growing up, "The worst thing you can ever tell yourself is I can't." Find ways around the "I can't" and make it happen! With that being said, here are some pictures of me overcoming one of my obstacles in this awesome lobby spot. :)




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4 comments

  1. So proud of you Rhe. You’re an absolutely amazing young woman and I’m really glad I had the opportunity to meet you and just get to know you.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I've really loved getting to know you.

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  2. Reading this was so impactful ! You are such a warrior and I wish many of many blessing for you. P.s you’re a good writer . Keep it up !

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